Still Trying

Here it is the begining of March and I still haven't been able to get to the gym on a regular schedule.  It isn't because I don't want to, I am always able to talk myself out of it.  It is so difficult to pick the right foods to eat and stick with a diet without the proper support and routine.  I took my weight the other day and am up to 400. 

When I was coming in to work tonight, I saw the end of "The Biggest Loser" on television.  I thought that I can do this.  I don't need anyone, just me.  It has always been me.  I know all the steps to take, and what choices that I should be making.  I just have terrible will power.  I know that I can do this, I just have to make the decision to.  I was putting together a new bed over the weekend, and this task involved a lot of bending and twisting.  I also had to sit on the floor for extened periods of time.  By the time that Monday evening rolled around, and I had to go to work, I was in extruciating pain.  I was lucky that my pain meds kicked in when they did.  I still wonder how I made it through the night.  I am feeling better tonight, but this was an eye-opening experience. 

I am still trying to get more whole grains into my diet, and make better choices when eating out.  I have to work on getting the kitchen clean so I can start preparing my meals the way that I need to, instead of eating out all the time.

Welcome to my blog

While reading an article on yahoo.com, i saw that people were putting their weight loss stories online.  I thought that this was a good idea.  I have tried everything to loose weight from Weight Watchers to Jenny Craig. I have even had a gastric bypass.  Nothing has worked.  I think that I have know that I haven't gained everything back, but I am well on my way.  I can't get there again.  I am having problems going up and down the steps.  I have this fear that I am going to end up stuck in my home because I won't physically be able to leave.  I have a physically demanding job, and I love it.  I would hate to have to give it up because I couldn't turn down that last cookie. 

A little info on me, I am 35, for a little while longer, and work as a surgical technologist.  This means that I spend a lot of time on my feet.  I always complain that my shoes are the problem for my feet hurting, but I know that isn't the truth. I am 5'11" and more than big boned.  I think that I am somewhere around 380lbs, maybe more.  I am going to try journaling here and with the food that I eat in a notebook.  I am also going to start going to the gym.  I can't wait to see how this is going to turn out.